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Horoscopes

Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Your soulmate is cheating on you. Don't blame yourself. No wait. You should blame yourself because you are a terrible lover. Your boss is really pissed that you keep wasting so much time on the Internet instead of doing your job. Ohhh. Things really don't look good for you. Make sure your life insurance is in order.
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
If you think your coworker is talking about you today you are correct. Take a hint and get a nose hair trimmer. Your future is up to you. As a Leo you are the king of the jungle and you make your own rules. Stop fooling yourself. Do you really think that you are not a slut?

Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Libra sounds a lot like zebra. I think you know what that means. Soon you will find yourself in a financial bind. I told you not to buy a Hyundai. Sagittarius is very hard to spell. I spent so much of my astro energy on the spelling that I don't have a horoscope for you.
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Capricorn sounds a lot like popcorn. Wait a minute. That's not really a prediction is it? It's time to hit the gym again but If you need a horoscope to tell you that then you are a freaking idiot ! If you are asked to go to a picnic don't. They only want you for your delicious chicken recipe.
That dawg is psychic!
Predictions arrive from a dog with mad horoscopic and telekinetic skills and a hat made out of aluminum foil

Spiritual Guide and Webmaster: Scott@GeckoTales.com

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